I am learning how to function in the social world. This is not easy. As an Autistic person, I find social situations to be hard. The hardest things for me to do are (1) Start a conversation, and (2) Maintain a conversation. I started small talk with another girl at one of my extra activities. I was anxious, but I discovered that she did want to talk to me! Ok, ok, I admit it. Small talk was easier than I thought it would be. My next step will be to actually maintain a conversation. Ending a conversation is not hard for me, so I don’t need to work on that step.
I sometimes have trouble reading if somebody is joking or not. It’s especially hard when I can’t see the persons face. I usually can pick up if I person is joking with their eyes and mouth. If the person is smiling or laughing I can tell that it is a joke. If the person has a dead-serious face when joking, or a different tone of voice, I can’t tell if the person is joking or not. Luckily my friends and family members have learned to help me with this by saying “Just kidding”, or “I’m joking.”
Sometimes I go on about my obsessions, I have been working on this. I try to talk about my obsessions some, but not all the time. Still, it’s hard to think of other subjects to talk about other than horses. I have social anxiety, sometimes my anxiety gets the better of me and I don’t try to socialize. I also need breaks from socializing because I am an introvert, and socializing takes a lot of analyzing and energy from me.
Someday I hope to be able to socialize with confidence. It might take a while, but I will keep trying.
photo credit: Marc Wathieu <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/88133570@N00/5263488534″>Speech bubbles at Erg</a> via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a> <a href=”https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/2.0/”>(license)</a>