I sometimes have trouble with transitions.

As an Autistic person transitions can be hard for me sometimes. One of the hardest transitions for me is going to one of my extra activities and then not going for a few weeks. When it is time to go back I have a lot of anxiety, “What mood will everybody be in?” “What if I do something wrong and look stupid?”. All kinds of scenarios end up swirling around in my head and I end up getting a stomach ache before (sometimes the stomach ache lasts through the car ride too).

The anxiety that I feel is because I cannot predict everything. I feel calm when I have control of things and when I can predict things. If I can’t predict things or have control then I become anxious. When I see people that I haven’t seen in over a week I get anxious. I can’t predict what mood they will be in, and I can’t predict how things will go.

I usually end up being quiet. I think people read this as me not wanting to talk, or that I am in a bad mood. It’s not either of these things. When I am anxious I go quiet. People then sometimes get onto me, they try to get me to talk when I’m not ready to talk. I need time and when I’m ready to talk, I will talk.

This is why I sometimes have trouble with transitions.

 

photo credit: H o l l y. <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/48337528@N05/7257266384″>day 017.</a> via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a&gt; <a href=”https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/”>(license)</a&gt;

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