I have made the decision to start crawling out my Autistic shell, but only with my family at the moment. I feel like I shouldn’t hide it anymore. I have always been afraid of sharing my autism diagnosis because of the stigma surrounding it and the lack of understanding about the disorder.
I was afraid that somebody would judge me. I’ve now revealed my autism diagnosis to several family members. I will continue to reveal it slowly through text or email (because that’s easier for me than to say it in person). I’m not going to reveal it to people I know yet.
People can react differently when they hear the word “Autism”. Some people have seen Autistic people throw rocks at other people, or doing something extreme and they get this stereotype image in their heads. They can then think that all Autistic people are “Crazy” and “Throw rocks”. Also, I fear people blabbing my diagnosis all over too.
People that I know can probably already guess that I have sensory processing disorder because I’ve had a hard time at events and they saw me hunched over in pain (yes even earplugs didn’t block out the horrible stereo-ugh). I hide my Autistic self from people I know every time I am near them. I act “Neurotypical”. I don’t stim in front of them because I’m afraid of judgment.
Maybe in the future, I will be able to tell people I know that I am “Autistic” without fear. But for now, I’m just keeping it to my very close friends and family.
photo credit: R.A. Killmer <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/122495188@N08/24959587822″>Color rework</a> via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a> <a href=”https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/2.0/”>(license)</a>