Today I had a meltdown. My frustration was already pent up because of my routine being changed to being able to get on the computer later. I already had to change my routine to feed the horses before screentime, and I also had to wash my hair before screentime. As I was walking up to my bedroom I felt it, I felt the meltdown coming on. I made it into my room and went to my desk
I started crying. I felt like I couldn’t breathe. I didn’t know if I was hyperventilating or not. This went on for some time. Eventually, I calmed down enough to get into the shower. Then it started coming back again, I luckily didn’t start crying again, but I still felt emotional. I made it through the shower and finally I am able to do my screentime, but I feel upset and tired.
One of the worst things about meltdowns as that others can’t understand. Neurotypical people can’t understand. I feel ashamed and alone. I tried not to cry super loud in my bedroom or scream because I didn’t want other family members to hear me and scold me or scoff at me. I wish I had someone who would understand. Having my routine interrupted is just plain stressful, and then adding other changes is even more stressful.
I rarely have meltdowns. But tonight, I did. It did not feel good at all. I hate meltdowns. 😦
Here are triggers that can make an Autistic person meltdown
I had this happen as a child because of fire alarms in a building that I went to for an appointment. When I’m overloaded I can’t think straight because my brain is simply overwhelmed with sensory input. The only help for this is to have a quiet space to calm down in.
Prolonged anxiety and stress can make an autistic person have a meltdown. If my routine is changed I get very anxious and therefore it is possible after a period of anxiety to have a meltdown. Autistic people often experience a lot of anxiety. In fact, Anxiety is a common comorbid condition with Autism.
Sometimes we Autistics get frustrated with something. We then get more and more frustrated and overwhelmed until we cannot handle it anymore and we have a meltdown. I think it is important for people to realize when an Autistic person is getting frustrated and overwhelmed with something and to give them a break from the activity and help them if they are having trouble with the task/activity.
This is why I HATE meltdowns. They are no fun and they can be exhausting. My meltdown certainly wasn’t the worst one I have had, but it still was bad. Being Autistic can be frustrating and can make me feel very alone.
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