Why I hate meltdowns.

Today I had a meltdown. My frustration was already pent up because of my routine being changed to being able to get on the computer later. I already had to change my routine to feed the horses before screentime, and I also had to wash my hair before screentime. As I was walking up to my bedroom I felt it, I felt the meltdown coming on. I made it into my room and went to my desk

I started crying. I felt like I couldn’t breathe. I didn’t know if I was hyperventilating or not. This went on for some time. Eventually, I calmed down enough to get into the shower. Then it started coming back again, I luckily didn’t start crying again, but I still felt emotional. I made it through the shower and finally I am able to do my screentime, but I feel upset and tired.

One of the worst things about meltdowns as that others can’t understand. Neurotypical people can’t understand. I feel ashamed and alone. I tried not to cry super loud in my bedroom or scream because I didn’t want other family members to hear me and scold me or scoff at me. I wish I had someone who would understand. Having my routine interrupted is just plain stressful, and then adding other changes is even more stressful.

I rarely have meltdowns. But tonight, I did. It did not feel good at all. I hate meltdowns. 😦

Here are triggers that can make an Autistic person meltdown

Sensory Overload

I had this happen as a child because of fire alarms in a building that I went to for an appointment. When I’m overloaded I can’t think straight because my brain is simply overwhelmed with sensory input. The only help for this is to have a quiet space to calm down in.

Prolonged Anxiety/Stress

Prolonged anxiety and stress can make an autistic person have a meltdown. If my routine is changed I get very anxious and therefore it is possible after a period of anxiety to have a meltdown. Autistic people often experience a lot of anxiety. In fact, Anxiety is a common comorbid condition with Autism.

Frustration

Sometimes we Autistics get frustrated with something. We then get more and more frustrated and overwhelmed until we cannot handle it anymore and we have a meltdown. I think it is important for people to realize when an Autistic person is getting frustrated and overwhelmed with something and to give them a break from the activity and help them if they are having trouble with the task/activity.

 

This is why I HATE meltdowns. They are no fun and they can be exhausting. My meltdown certainly wasn’t the worst one I have had, but it still was bad. Being Autistic can be frustrating and can make me feel very alone.

 

photo credit: ashley rose, <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/22196205@N03/4317601895″></a&gt; via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a&gt; <a href=”https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/2.0/”>(license)</a&gt;

 

 

 

 

 

 

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