What does a meltdown feel like?

Meltdowns are terrible, just terrible. Here is what a meltdown feels like for me as an Autistic person.

I feel the feeling coming on, that awful feeling, Suddenly I feel like I want to cry and scream. I feel overwhelmed by emotions. I cry each cry gasping for air. I feel like I’m drowning in water. I feel like I want to just scream. I feel like I can’t breathe. Tears are streaming down my face, and I can’t stop it. Slowly it becomes easier to breathe, Tears are still dripping down my face, my throat aches from my verbal noise I make when trying to suppress sobbing and my back aches. I feel so alone, I feel ashamed and exposed. I get up, but I feel the feeling coming on again. I suppress it, “Please, please, please don’t have another meltdown!!” I tell myself. I breathe, slowly the feeling leaves me. I feel exhausted and drained of energy.

This is what a meltdown feels like for me. It is exhausting and hard to deal with. It’s one of the things in Autism that is very difficult to deal with. Meltdowns are NOT tantrums, they are an expression of strong emotions. There can be several triggers that can trigger a meltdown, but each person is different. Being Autistic may be hard, but I’ll get through eventually. 🙂

 

photo credit: Simon & His Camera <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/46267286@N07/30774143414″>Gardener’s Don’t Do It In Wellies – Michelle 3</a> via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a&gt; <a href=”https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/2.0/”>(license)</a&gt;

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