I wander around,
Looking at the groups of people,
Smiles, frowns, hand movements.
I stand by, watching,
The conversation goes on,
I cannot find a way to enter,
I slowly walk away.
Can I fit in here?
The conversation keeps running,
Each person chipping in their part,
But I cannot find a way to be a part of their group,
And so I still search.
I find a group of girls,
Laughing, giggling, and chatting.
I would like to say something, but I cannot,
the words are stuck in my mouth,
Like glue is attached to my words,
So I still wander.
Will I ever find a place?
have a friend that I can talk too about my passions?
Sometimes the loneliness creeps in,
And I cry silently on the inside,
And sometimes the tears start dripping on the outside,
Slowly making wet lines down my face,
I wander “Will I always feel this way?”
Because I just want someone to be with,
To fill the gap of loneliness that I feel.
Someday I hope,
I will have friends,
A group that I can fit into,
So that I don’t feel lonely anymore.
A poem about lonliness and anxiety written by an Autistic person.